Change My Heart

Lord, change my heart, make Your desires my desires.

Over the years, I've come to believe that this prayer is the most productive prayer, the most life transforming prayer we will ever pray in our lives.

I first prayed this prayer during a season in my life when I was starting over.  I had spent a decade running away from the Lord and, as I like to say, had become a pro at "turning the volume down" on the Lord.  

When that prayer came out of my mouth, I was done running. I was done with trying to navigate life on my own. I was in the process of putting the pieces of my life back together and reacquainting myself with the One I had ignored for years.  I looked forward to spending time with Him, asking Him for advice, listening for His answers and His direction. I wanted to, now, live a life that honored Him. The problem?  As they say, old habits sometimes die (excruciatingly) hard.  I could so relate to Paul and the tug of war match with our flesh that he describes for us in Romans 7.

“For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do.   Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me.  So I discover this principle; When I want to do what is good, evil is with me.  For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God’s law. But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this dying body?  I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin.” (vs 15-25)

Lord, change my heart, make Your desires my desires.

This prayer wasn’t a once said and once done prayer. This prayer became a battle cry. I prayed it through tears. I prayed it through anger. I prayed it through all the “why, Lord?!?” questions. I prayed it after those times when, like Paul, “I wanted to do good but my flesh won…AGAIN”.  In many ways, I felt like I could relate to the persistent widow we read about in scripture who kept coming back to the judge with the same request.

LORD, I NEED YOU!

And then, one morning…I prayed…and it happened. 

My heart was filled with a peace and a calm that, even today, I have a hard time putting into words that can accurately describe what took place. 

The battle was won. There was still hard road ahead…but my heart and His heart were on the same page!  It was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced in my life. 

A song comes to mind right now…

“That’s why I praise Him. That’s why I sing. That’s why I offer Him my everything.”

God answers our prayers.  His way.  His timing.  His perfect will. 

Keep running back to Him. Keep clinging to Him.